I’ve had this title in my head since the beginning of the year but I never knew what to write about it til now. And even then I’m still figuring out what this means for me.
This year started off very differently; if last year was a feel-good and comfortable year, this year has already been a hectic year though we’ve only reached quarter-way. I can’t believe we are 3months in, coming to 4 in about a week’s time!
This year started off with determination to be better – in ministry, in work, in relationships..but I feel like I’ve been trudging through these 3 months. My patience has hit an all-time low and even I scare myself at how easily I get annoyed with anyone and everyone. I keep praying that God will restore that ‘inner beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit which is of great worth in God’s sight’ which has been buried somewhere deep inside. 1 Peter 3:4. And since I looked up this verse to write in this post, God has brought it up in two other separate occasions.
A few eventful things that has happened since Jan, some bad and some good:
1. I finally got my Australian PR! Yay! And have bought my tickets to Brisbane and Melbourne, a birthday gift to myself. Finally after 2 years I get to step on Australian soil again.
2. I was diagnosed with Benign Paroxysmal Positional Vertigo in Feb and it has taken me out of my exercise routine, which has frustrated me more than ever because I feel so unenergetic and lumpy. To this day it still affects me and I dare not push myself too hard. I still do not know though, why I had a fainting episode in Dec and I still feel like I’m falling or about to fall sometimes. And as of today I am on regular medication 😦 which I find it hard to accept too. Boo.
3. I was transferred to Tutong Hospital for 1 month. I was supposed to stay there for 3 months but thank God that my colleague’s transfer was processed quicker. I was getting quite lethargic from the commute alone.
4. I wish I could say something about having a guy in my life but unfortunately (or fortunately I don’t know) I don’t have much to say about this.
5. It’s wedding galore season for me – being bridesmaid for one, maid of honour for another and guest for another (thats only for the weddings that I can actually attend this year). So I’m excited but it also adds salt to the wound in no.4 above
6. The non-physical atmosphere in Brunei is starting to change and originally I was thinking of giving up my Australian PR along the way but I’m still reconsidering and going to pray through what God has in store for me. I feel it’s going to be a tough decision just because the logical reasoning may not necessarily be in line with the divine.
I had a revelation the other day about God being the God of the seasons (in life). I guess I have been running around on hyperactive mode that I found it difficult to just sit still and be quiet. In talking with Lorene and Stephen recently, this subject came up in relation to prayer, that we have always learnt to talk and talk and present our requests but not to just sit still and bask in God’s presence and hear from Him without giving Him a time limit. And that’s one thing I realised I’ve been missing. Which is why now I understand a bit more about why I wanted to write about this topic. In a way I feel that things have happened so that I would have no choice but to slow down and rely on God alone…
Beautiful Soul 
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